Dreary

I decided to run on the local trail through town this morning. There is a stretch that crosses a few bridges so there are more “hills” in that area. I drove there to run since I needed to go to the store anyway. The weather was super dreary but warmer that it has been. It really is about the best you can get around here this time of year. I ran a little over 3 miles and pushed my pace a bit. It was a great run overall.

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Expect the unexpected

On Wednesday night, one of my older boys said he wanted to get up early to go to the gym before school. I was pleasantly surprised! I decided that I would go with him and we planned on getting up at 6. When I woke him up, he had changed his mind. Since I was already up, I decided to run from home since it was quite warm for January. I was actually really warm on the run! It was 55 degrees before sunrise. It was a winter time miracle. I thoroughly enjoyed my 2.5 miles around the neighborhood. I did 2 sets of pull-ups, a set of dips, and a flip at the local elementary school while I was out. It was a great pre-work workout. Since I had woken up early yesterday, my body woke up early again today. I had no interesting in running in weather 50 degrees colder than the day before so I went to the gym. I ran 1.5 miles and enjoyed the time at the gym more than I have recently. It wasn’t very busy and I remembered to wear my hat, which keeps the ridiculously bright lights out of my eyes. I’m in 7th place in the gym’s workout challenge and it’s actually been an extra level of motivation for me, which I appreciate. I’m enjoying being a part of  a group challenge more than I had expected.

Squeezing in my run

Yesterday was my husband’s birthday. I’ve been so busy lately that I asked him to order his own gift and he had to order a slice of cake from a restaurant’s dessert menu. He was kind about my limitations. After dinner, I sat with my son as he struggled through the residual emotions of a difficult day. He was quiet and withdrawn, which aren’t a good combination for him right now. His identical twin brother sat nearby trying, unsuccessfully, to do homework. My husband was putting our youngest to bed. My struggling son committed himself to his safety while I ran a mile so that we could go for a drive when I got back. I’m so proud of him. He continues to make hard decisions to help himself get better. He didn’t want to do anything last night but he got himself up and out the door on a cold, dark night for a drive. I can only hope that my commitment to get up and out the door on a cold, dark night to keep my streak alive can serve as an example of perseverance for him. I ran the half mile to the elementary school playground, did a few pull-ups, a few dips, and a flip over the lowest bar before running that half mile back home. My son and I then went on a drive after that despite my exhaustion and day packed to the brim and it was magical. We looked at Christmas lights and talked about many things as we drove. We got home late and went to bed even later but I went to sleep knowing that my son was in a better place emotionally. I will take less sleep for that peace of mind any day. Tonight, my daughter came to town and said she wanted to run with me at the gym. We left around dinner time and one of my twins came with us. He shot baskets as my daughter and I ran laps around the indoor track. I thought she might want to run together but she just wanted us both to run on the track so she could use me as motivation to run faster. I love that girl. She sent me a bitmoji of us as two peas in a pod yesterday and it meant so much to me that she sees how alike we are as well. I also love that I can serve as inspiration for my daughter to run faster even as I approach 40. After we each logged 2 miles (my daughter would probably want me to point out that she finished a long time before I did), we played a game of pig and around the world with her brother. My daughter isn’t as naturally athletic as her brothers but I love how she enjoys athletic recreation regardless. My son won the game of pig, despite my best efforts of bounce shots and backward shots but I won the game of around the world. We had a blast. My husband stayed home to put our youngest to bed again. He has been so supportive of my older son and his struggles. He has also been incredibly supportive as my older kids have needed more of my time and attention as we all go through the transition of moving and facing my son’s mental health struggles. It has been a gift. I am now sitting here awake at 3am awaiting the return of my other son. He traveled to St. Louis for a concert tonight and I look forward to him getting home safely. I remember a parent telling me when my older kids were young that the sleepless nights return when you have teenagers and it is proving to be true. I’m thankful for my running, which allows me time to process my busy life. I was reflecting on my run tonight how my daily running has become an accepted part of our family’s routine. On New Year’s Eve, I will celebrate 3 full years of my running streak. I realized that I started this streak when my youngest was 4 years old. Next year, I will have been streaming for over half of his life. At this point, he probably doesn’t even remember a day where I didn’t run. That brings me joy. I love that I have this one thing that I selfishly pursue for myself and that it has such positive ramifications throughout my small circle of influence. I often read everything I can get my hands on about depression and one of the lists I read recently discussed the importance of a streak. The list talked about finding something you can commit to doing daily that you can pursue while checking off the number of consecutive days that you have remained committed to the task. I completely agree that there are positive mental benefits to this pursuit. I love my streak and how much it adds to my life.

Late evening run

I was really hoping to hit the gym today for my run. I hadn’t had a chance to go before dinner so I checked their hours on the way home and realized they closed in 20 minutes. I knew there was no chance that I could make it home in time to get my shorts and make it to the gym for a mile. I was super bummed. A late day run in the dark, 20 degree weather was not on my list of things I wanted to do today. My son actually had a really rough night last night. He had a fight with his girlfriend and he was pretty distraught. I was up with him until 2am and I was exhausted all day. This was just icing on an already crappy cake. I bundled up anyway and headed out into the darkness. I stopped by the neighborhood elementary school to do some pull-ups, dips, and a flip, then ran 2 miles. It really wasn’t too bad. My anxiety was a little higher than usual but really the run was better than I had expected. I was def ready for it to be over when I got home but I’m proud of myself for making it out even though I would have rather stayed home. While I was on my run, I was trying to remember yesterday’s run because I knew I hadn’t blogged about that run yet. I couldn’t remember it at all. I even started worrying for a minute that maybe I had forgotten to run. I convinced myself to relax by reminding myself that my Garmin would give me the details of yesterday’s run so I could check that when I got home. My Garmin reminded me that I ran at 6:17 yesterday morning and I ran a mile around the neighborhood to the north. It was also kind enough to mention that it had been 14 degrees with 11mph winds from the southeast. I might have actually mentally blocked out that run.

Another rest day

If I could perfectly plan each of my days, I would be running farther and eating healthier. However, life isn’t perfect. I wanted to run 3 miles today but I really only had time for 1 mile. It was a decent mile though. Maybe little windier than I would have liked but the temperature was great. I ran around the little retention pond just to the north of our house. I’m glad I got to run outside. Tomorrow, I will likely be stuck in the gym either before getting my youngest ready for school or after work. Our temperatures are expected to plummet tonight so I need to get my winter running gear ready so I’m not stuck on the hamster wheel indefinitely.

Beautiful weather

We have had unseasonably warm weather the past week and a half. I got to run in shorts and a T-shirt yesterday! I ran 3 miles around our neighborhood and the neighborhoods nearby. It was a great run in great weather for December. Today I had to run a little earlier because we had to go clean out our old house. It was still warmer than it should be for this time of year and I really enjoyed the scenery. I ran 2 miles around a retention pond to the neighborhood just to our south. It was really peaceful. I lacked motivation before heading out but once I started running, I was glad I made it outside. These warm days won’t be around for much longer.

Early morning hamster wheel

The past two days, I’ve needed to drive over an hour each way in the middle of the work day to be at appointments for my son. Luckily, my new job has been really accommodating of my situation. I have gone into work at 7:30am, left for the appointments, and the come back to work until 6pm. It’s not ideal but it allows me to be there for my son while still meeting most of the basic requirements of my job. This schedule leaves very little time for my other kids or my husband. I’ve woken up early both yesterday and today so I could get to the gym and run before my family woke up. I ran 2.75 miles yesterday and 3 today. I’ve been super tired by the end of the day but I’ve enjoyed getting my runs done early. I just wish I could get outside for more runs. Future goals!